Dear Red, Green, Orange & Blue Fanatics, We understand your frustration on Holi

Published on 13 Mar 2017 on category Religion for zone Rest of India

An open letter to those who stop the Hindus to celebrate Holi, with the excuse that it harms environment but keep mouths shut in Eid, Ramzan, New Year etc. Exposing their double standards.

Holi is festival of multi-color and not a single color. Holi is festival of multi-color and not a single color.

Dear  Red, Green & Orange Fanatics,

With all due disrespect and hardly a humble submission, rather usual oppression we would like to inform you that us, the great Brahmanical oppressors have harmed the environment today once again by playing Holi with our Kshatriya, Vaishya and Shudra playmates.

We are writing to you not because you are actually environmentalists but you have an environment-friendly conscience that triggers only when a Hindu festival gets closer in the calendar to the current date.

You all have as individual or alliance, legit reasons to oppose Holi which is diametrically opposite to your view of the world. For the Red and Green want to paint the entire world into Red and Green respectively and form an unexpected bedfellow. The Blue spreads a notion that the entire world has been blue and oppressed by Brahmanical patriarchy and therefore deserve compensation. The Orange is, however, the opposite, they want to prove by hook or crook, by drama or by photoshop that the future should be orange because it was the orange which saved the entire world and feeds the entire world.

The Red can be confined now only in Kerala, Orange in Punjab, Green in Kashmir and Blue scattered across India in tiny bits, but they want to colorize the entire nation in their own fascist ways, unlike the multicolor Holi which is the true essence of India. Ironically these fascists call the Holi celebrators as Fascists.

Dear Red and Blue propagandists, you have certainly read too many books and certainly understood none of them and as a result whatever you say are just rhetoric and hollow on facts. But when hooting is the key, you get the attention and you, the confident liars win the day. Did you say Holika was burnt because she was a Dalit?

Since when the sister of Hiranyakashipu, the Kshatriya king become a Dalit? Or in the other way, you agree with the reality that in Hinduism the caste was decided by profession and traits and not by birth? Decide and stick to one stand.

Like the terrorist manual of the Green, Hindu scriptures doesn’t classify people based on birth and certainly, it never commands to betray, ambush and behead the men and possess the women of the nonbelievers into Harem.

Or do you guys think that Holika was a Dalit despite being born into a Kshatriya family because she was hardly possessing the qualities to become a Kshatriya? So your definition of Dalit is just the summation of all notorious elements taken from all sects? Well, then we are proud Dalit oppressors, ‘Dalit’ according to your standards.

It’s an irony that the people who considered women as state-owned property, who considered women as just fertile fields to grow crops, who considered women sexual objects and who butchered them with worst methods ever, raped them as concubine, are now shedding tears on the burning of the effigy of Holika, calling it the replay of the burning of a woman by patriarchs.

Well, it's not that you have read too many books and understood none, it's also equally true that you have read a lot of useless books and hardly read a book on the topic. When you talk about Holika, you should know about the legend which says that Holika, the princess of the autocratic kingdom, wasn’t tied and burnt, rather she was overconfident that she can’t be burnt and went into the fire with Bhakt Prahlad.

And condemns who? The Blues, who have burnt millions of women under their religious ritual named ‘Witch-Hunt’, where any woman practicing idolatry, paganism, polytheism- was labeled as an evil witch and burnt alive tied to a tree as the Blues laughed on to her scream?

Condemns who? The Greens, who have been burning Yezidi women alive even today? The irony can’t get any better reason to commit suicide. Green alone can be given millions of facts to shut up.

We understand that saving ‘Bhakt’ Prahlad would make you feel the need of Burnol, but we can’t help it. Last week too, the Green guys in Iraq had burnt several Bhakt Prahlad, who were devotees of Taus Malek @ Lord Kartik @ Subramanian @ Sanath Kumar according to the Yezidi admission. When you believe in burning down pious children, saving a child would hurt you the most.

When yours fascist religious books which burn everyone who doesn’t subscribe to your ideology, in hell, burning someone because of bad traits and not any ideological affiliation, hurts you a lot, we understand that.

And dear Orange guys, trust us, you are the funniest creatures we have faced ever. Keep on convincing others that your Saffron is Orange and deploy another team to convince people that you should wear neither saffron nor orange but blue. Keep on deploying one team to customize your own version of Diwali and the other to teach your people why they shouldn’t play Diwali. Keep on playing Holi at your premier religious places, and deploy another team to ban Holi. Guess what- jokes are not created on you for nothing. Take that.

We understand butchering an innocent animal is far greater humanitarian practice than burning a lifeless effigy. We understand that painting the world with rainbow colors is harmful, but painting the drains and streets red with blood is a humanitarian practice according to your standards. We have the perfect understanding of the hypocrisy you possess.

You guys are not just color blind, but your blindness comes according to time. You see no harm in the environment by crackers in New Year or Good Friday but equate them with nukes during Diwali. You don’t save water in the bloody Green festivals but feel like saving water in Holi.

Well, we understand that you are true saviors of water, your anti-Brahmanical practices like the boycott to bath and the amount of lice in your messy beards tell a lot, but then sorry, the water we are wasting, doesn’t come from the stock you have saved. So just shut up and let us play Holi.

Titu Shadowson & Sakshi Bhardwaj,
Two Brahmanical Oppressors.

Written By
Titu Shadowson & Sakshi Bhardwaj
Titu Shadowson is former geopolitical columnist in premier Afghan daily Afghanistan Times and Sakshi Bhardwaj is a JNU alumna and geopolitical commentator.
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Fist Published On: 13 Mar 2017

Last Updated On: 05:16:07pm 13 Mar 2017

Reading Timelength: 6 Minutes

Type of Post: Open Letters

Category: Religion

Zone: Rest of India

Primary Topic: #HinduFestival

Tags: Holi, Open Letter on Holi, Hindu Festival, Occasional Envorinmentalists

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